Regrets and Lessons

As I sit in my bedroom, pitch dark except for the glow of my smartphone, I could not help but think of regret. Now, with my oh so sunny disposition and delightful demeanor, how could I have any upsetting thoughts or regrets? I confess; I do. I regret letting that one kid cheat off my test in seventh grade because I thought it would increase my  social standing of the middle school hierarchy. I regret not reading more books during my summer vacations- getting swept away in the lives of the characters in our favorite books, eventually becoming old friends. … Continue reading Regrets and Lessons

Such Is Life

We have fleeting moments in our existence. They are like grains of sand, slipping by quickly, transient. In these moments, we meet people. These individuals may be friend or nemesis, or merely someone who says something meaningful at the water cooler. How can only a few minutes out of the millions we have impact us so deeply? Such is life. In life, people say things they mean in the moment, perfectly serious in that time. What we must understand is that it is okay to believe them. Though some people in our lives will not be lifelong players on our … Continue reading Such Is Life

Chemistry of Depression

The problem with looking back is seeing your mistakes; the people you left behind and vice versa. I cannot put into words the pain I feel on a near constant basis. Is it chemical like they say? Will a tiny pill make all these sensations go away? I like to hope so. That’s the thing about hope. We cling to it, even at our most illogical. I don’t know if my life’s journey and my decisions make me fall into this abyss. I only know I feel desperation to be validated in some point. I feel like I can be … Continue reading Chemistry of Depression

Witching Hour Lullaby

Long after the witching hour When I should be in slumber As my heart is so tired I lay awake Glancing from time to time At my memories Like a bedtime story They are a lovely lullaby Can you feel a physical pain When your heart aches just so In this moment Its the only sensation I know I know your mind wanders Its often to me If you’re being truthful You know its where You ought to be Continue reading Witching Hour Lullaby

Read Between My Pages

Ivory cover Golden top The book is lovely to behold In between the pages If you read between the lines You see the lies Smudged ink Where tears fell But the story ends happily Was it you or was it me Promises we believe To get thru the day But we know that it only fades away The pages read differently to your eyes Than mine I ponder if those eyes look away from mine Too blue to stare into Oh doll… What chapter are you on? My story is never ending Never ceasing Am I a drama? Fantasy? Mystery? … Continue reading Read Between My Pages

Ev’ry Time

Even when I’m asleep Part of my mind stays awake Just to dream of you Its that subconscious Unconscious, dedication That kills me ev’ry time You’re so damn exhausting I’d love to walk away But I fear I love you more Please tell me Why there is this feeling low in my belly That signals dread when I think of you Oh but Lover, Should you choose to walk in the door right now I would burst with joy for the occasion I’m so tired Tired of the status quo I hang on each word Merely because it could be … Continue reading Ev’ry Time

Alabama Madam

  1964             Sandra looked at herself in the full length mirror, wincing at the sight. This meant she couldn’t work this week. If men wanted to see bruised women, they’d just go home after too many martinis after work. No, they came to her because she looked a certain way. Red hair, blue eyes, and not a freckle on her.             She applied the compress to her tattered leg and climbed into bed. It was late and she had important business tomorrow. Merle Norman didn’t just buy itself.   One Week Later… With the pain slowly subsiding and the … Continue reading Alabama Madam

Gilded Globe

Blue eyes Like winter in a globe Snowflakes rain down like tears There’s a blizzard in my eyes Cold as ice in her demeanor While within it hides her secret Beneath the arrogant stance in heels Is there ever an appeal I wonder often How it came to this Gilded cages And a dangerous kiss The globe is lovely from the inside in But from my view, its worse than sin Golden bars that stand for walls We never saw the red queen fall Purple no longer stands for regal Purple shines as bright as day When there on flesh … Continue reading Gilded Globe

Failure

Losing time As we lose patience Crying out in frustration Here we go, down our rabbit hole Time to run, but our legs fail I can see down the darkened path Ever knowing the the wrath of aftermath Still not knowing when the first blow came Reddened bruises that were never the same In the rabbit hole As we run late There lay the makeup brushes That cover bruises with strategic touches Here I stand in couture and pearls Cameras flashing But I see no light Because I am in forever night My legs fail me My words fail me … Continue reading Failure