Endocrinologist. 

Primary care physicians.

Psychiatrist. 

Endocrinologist again. 

CT scans. MRIs. Blood tests and stool samples <– because that one was fun to say. All to find out why I’m in constant pain. Why my joints ache. Why my muscles are weak. Why my heart races. Why I’m so fatigued I can’t get out of bed. 

I take their medications, I just through their hoops and for what? No answers. I feel like I’ve taken dozens of tests (which in retrospect I have) and I don’t know if I’m passing or failing. 

Today was shit. Like, I have the whole gratitude of simply being alive down. But, as a day, today was shit. Stomach flu for the first part of the day, kept nothing down, couldn’t even take my little boy to his occupational therapy appointment (#momguilt) and when I finally felt human enough to shower and see daylight, I develop a migraine from the depths of hell only the devil himself could have wrought. Hashtag totes awesome. ✔️

I love sunshine, dressing up in summer cuteness and walking along a beach and believe me, I’m fighting like hell to get back to that point, but today was fucking shitty. 

Thanks for listening. XOXO