Fireflies

Honeysuckle was blooming. The sweet perfume hanging in the air, as we sat on our porch on one of our slow, Southern nights. It was May, but Spring had bypassed and we felt the heaviness of Summer in each breathe. From our perch on the veranda, we saw the children play. There was a faint orange blaze as the Sun was preparing her rest and far off was that very first star in the sky at dusk. The children ran, played and squealed in excitement. Running up to us with their hands closed ever so gently… In between their sweet … Continue reading Fireflies

Feeling Like A Fraud

There I was, listening to a distraught friend. She cried into the phone. I felt myself giving her suggestions for assistance and relieved at having a direction to turn to, she thanked me and we ended our call. I found it peculiar to be thanked for information I had merely searched for online. After all, who was I to thank? I was this fraud, simply waiting on the days in which my loved ones would find out I was not the intelligent woman they knew. I’d excelled in school because things came easily and I only graduated college because I … Continue reading Feeling Like A Fraud

Burning of the Moon

I stand alone Under the pitch black arms that are the oak’s shadow The heat of the sunset fades away Along with the vibrancy of Her colors In Her place, the night sky is rising Broken And oh so weary I’m not longer standing I have lost the connection I felt to that old oak tree Trunk and limbs gave me strength from the earth The sun has gone to slumber and the rays I soak in cannot sustain me So I sit beneath what no longer comforts me Unsure in this path forward Looking up I see the brightness … Continue reading Burning of the Moon

Live. Laugh. Share.

Facebook crashed today. As did Instagram. With the majority of my social media interaction today being Snapchat and Twitter, I realized how heavily I relied on Facebook and Instagram for my “fix.” Much like all coffee contains caffeine and ought to be created equal, I felt like my jolt was eminating from a cold gas station brew instead of a delicious latte from a boutique cafe. Before the sites were even down, I’d begun the arduous process of discussing social media and mental health with friends and family. In the retro style of the 90s, I actually interviewed many over … Continue reading Live. Laugh. Share.

Friends, Fear and Watermelon.

Let’s talk about fear. Fear is a necessary part of life. It protects us from poisonous animals, falling from great heights and being in that serial killer documentary as a victim. However, fear can also be debilitating. It keeps us from flying across the world, feeling the exuberance of a roller coaster or from delivering a once in a lifetime speech to a crowd. However, few fears rule our hearts like the snake that is anxiety and social expectations. Sure, the occasional bout of anxiety is simply part of life. Whether it’s a test that’s coming up, a work presentation … Continue reading Friends, Fear and Watermelon.

Wish.

From blue to orange The heat of the hues exhalation of air I make a wish the sky filled with darkness scattered diamonds glistening by the light of the moon fall, fall, fall little star. come to this earth, I make a wish I gaze upon you and you do not know how beautiful you are in my eyes Roll over, a rainbow halo is on your pillow as I move from my side to yours feeling my skin; once you said it was like silk listening to my drawl as we walk along an ancient city by the sea … Continue reading Wish.

Personification.

I want to write you I want to write you into darkness Disappear into blackness I’d have you write your lyrics on your wrists To be sung about on the Styx I want you to disappear into oblivion No Heaven No Hell Simply you alone with your thoughts Always. Depression is a blackguard that will steal your joy. Depression, if anything, is the utter absence of hope. Imagine awaking each day, with no hope… that each day will blur the line into the next and only slumber separates you. If Continue reading Personification.

Shining A Light

    Today has been a no spoon day. There is no silverware in the drawer. I have spent nearly two days in bed. My depression is severe and my thoughts have been dangerous and deadly. In an attempt to feel something as I have always responded to music, I turned on The Grammys and my heart fluttered for the first time in weeks. Lady GaGa and Bradley Cooper had won the Best Pop Duo/Group Performance and she went onstage to accept. In her acceptance, this light she is under, this moment for her to glow like the incredible woman … Continue reading Shining A Light

THANK U, NEXT

“You’re the one I want to want.” “I’m not ready for a relationship, but we can be friends.” “You’re great, really… I’m just not feeling a connection…” All very tactful ways of saying, “he/she is just not that into you…” They wrote books and there’s even a movie about it. So, why don’t we listen? It seems simple: we don’t want to. We want to believe we are the exception and with the right amount of kindness and patience, we can convince this person we are the unconditional love in their life they’ve searched for? It’s excruciating. It is a … Continue reading THANK U, NEXT

Broken.

Our ordinary days. Each one filled with obligations, stress, and hopefully, a moment of laughter. I am of a school of thought that is optimistic, despite heartbreak and disappointment, that we all deserve and are entitled to be loved and wanted. On one of your ordinary days, there will be one person that makes this day different. It will be a feeling or sense you are unable to shake, but also cannot put it into words. As the hours and days go by, that moment will fall by the wayside as life goes on and we place that moment on … Continue reading Broken.